by Jennifer Jonassen

I have been in Los Angeles for a year now and what a year it has been! I have to admit that although I have managed to score a few roles here and there, that aren't completely offensive, it has been difficult. Particularly in the past few months where I have really started to get called in, and offered roles for parts on television and in film. However, I am sad to report that at this time many if not all of the roles I have been called in for are degrading and in a lot of cases, cruel. Every time my agent calls (instead of being thrilled that some major network wants to call me in for a pre-read) I become wary and anxious. And unfortunately this is with good reason too. I only wish I was allowed to reprint the actual scripts for some of these projects but I will try my best to sum a few of the low lights up:

A popular sitcom had a role where the character is so undesirable (because of her weight) that the lead character mistakes her for a man.

A comedy where the male lead has sex with a bunch of different women to get back at his ex culminating in a scene with a large woman that is meant to be funny.

A thriller about a serial killer who hunts large women (so original!) The particular victim I was reading for begged him to kill her because she hated herself so much for being fat.

A short comedic film written and produced by established professionals that consisted of a fat woman being yelled at and made fun of by her doctor while the character just sits there and cries. This was written in such a particularly crass way; stating how smelly large people are and how disgusting their bodies look. When I turned this role down I was actually compelled to tell them it was because the role was offensive and not how I want to represent myself nor other large women.

OK that all said, here I am today waiting to take time off from work to audition for yet another questionable role. This script starts off innocuously enough and I am thinking to myself, "Hallelujah! Finally a role on a real T.V. show that is just funny without the obligatory fat joke." But it turns out they didn't forget... here it the last line of the sketch, and I am paraphrasing... " Mr. so-and-so this fat lady is waiting to see you...."

When I am absolutely stuck auditioning for these parts (my agent sends me) I find myself warding off potential anxiety attacks and wondering how to sabotage myself so I don't actually get cast in the role. Not the best way to have an acting career!  And perhaps the worst part of it all is that I am tempted to take the roles sometimes just to get that proverbial foot in the door. Some of my friends & colleagues have suggested I take these roles just for this reason. They argue that getting experience and being seen is the first step to breaking into the business and then once established I could start breaking the stereotypes.